at the other end

After six weeks of tangling, twisting, topsy-turvy, frustrating, exciting, and very implosive crazy colliding pools of thoughts with the rough waves of logic mixed with some fiery experience... I have come out, I believe, better.

What I learned is that I must stop worrying about the future and learn to take things slowly. It is good to think about the future, but I cannot force myself to make a decision when my heart hasn't even made a decision. My good friend taught me that. I am grateful to him for what has happened. He also taught me that I should look out for what I want and put myself first, not others' feelings.

I also realized that I do not want a relationship right now. I'm loving my independence as a single lady. I am going to make as many friends as I can and we will enjoy life together for now. When it actually is time for me to be in a relationship, I'll know. I definitely do not have the will to be in a commitment right now; definitely not. Time, I believe I do, but I don't want to use that time for a specific someone yet. I'm not ready to sacrifice that.

<3, thanks buds!

Breathe.

On Monday, I needed to breathe; so I went down to the beach. It was one of those twisted gutsy feeling within you that is prodding you to do something. So I went.

Here are just some of my favourite shots






My new rainboots. They remind me of strawberries and picnics. That day, I was sitting on a log, waiting for my friend. A middle aged guy who was rollerblading sat on the log next to me and we started to have a very nice chat. He started the conversation with how he likes my boots. Then we talked about Indonesia.

Today I woke up at 6am to attend a 730am Hatha yoga class. As the bus was crawling up the hill, I looked towards a clearing and saw the whole city. The lower part of it was covered with clouds while the highrises were triumphing over the clouds. It was amazing.

To my surprise, it turns out to be one of the nicest days of September! Instead of doing homework at home, I brought out my beach towel and laid it out on the grass at the park. I sunbathed and did a little bit of Kinesiology homework.

I <3 my life.

Sand, Waves, Strangers, Fate, Chai Tea Latte, and a Disposable Camera

It was grey, warm and humid today. I woke up with a rather melancholic mood. A million thoughts have been swimming around my mind the past week; all were triggered by a certain someone. It is definitely not just the question of the relationship between us, but it has evolved (in my mind) to become the question of my way of life. What do I want? What do I believe in? Why do I want to believe it in that way?

I believe in God. I know He exists and He is a big ball of love. And if there's light, there is darkness; it's contrast. What do I do with this now? I'm so tired of church. I'm so tired of the human religious notions of it. I'm so tired of feeling condemned for thinking differently. I go to church to socialize, not to seek God. I did the whole nine yards church life for 18 years of my life. The past year... I've been going just for the sake of my parents. I do not want her to think that she failed in raising me up. I don't want to see her cry.

We assign meanings to things; that's what being a human is. If that is so, then, I have the option to assign my own meanings don't I?

I want to be a big ball of positive energy. I want people who see me, meet me, somehow be in contact with me to feel happier, lighter, and they should definitely smile more! I feel confined with the label "Christian". It has negative notions to it that I do not like. I feel like "Christian" has snobbish connotation. Why are Christians so separated? Don't we all live in the same atmosphere? Don't we all breathe the same air? Don't we all have the same precious life? And I'm pretty sure God loves us all the same. Get out of the clouds and come down to the ground! Christians cannot save the world by being exclusive.

Instead of going to my Gerontology 101 class, I bought a disposable camera and headed to the beach. While waiting for the light to cross, a bike courier stopped his tracks and said, "Hey. Just want to say I love your outfit. It's the greatest. You made my day better". And my dearest stranger, you made mine better as well.

Be in love with life!
Clar

slump.

feeling rather uninspired.

Two months after...

This post is pretty lengthy and has lots of photos. Snail-net people, beware.

I know I said the next post will be in Japan, but I didn't have a converter for my laptop. For some reason it was really hard to open my laptop everyday at my Aunt's place. Then I had an issue with me losing my charger, etc etc.

Still in Indonesia. Almost exactly two months now :). It's definitely different from Canada. I miss Canada a lot. I was homesick for the first three weeks. I didn't have that much fun until I started going out of town.


My first trip was to this town called "Bogor". Around an hour or two drive from Jakarta. I was there for three days with my sister and her baby. We stayed at her husband's family home. It was huugeee.... sadly I didn't take too many pictures inside of the house. Then we headed to the Bogor Botanical Garden. At the Botanical Garden, they have the world's largest flower: carrion flower, or called "Bunga Bangkai" in Indonesian. The flower only blooms once every three years. It was first a tree, then it dies, then it became a flower. When it blooms, it gives off a bad odour like dead animal; hence, the name, "bangkai" means "corpse". The flower wasn't blooming when I was there sadly.

I got home Wednesday, then I left for Puncak on Thursday night. Puncak is the typical vacation spot for people in Jakarta. "Puncak" means the top... and it's basically a mountain top. Well, maybe more like the side of it. Puncak is extremely popular due to Jakarta's usual hot weather. Puncak is usually... colder (not anymore... it's too crowded and rather polluted now).

I love the road up to Puncak. The side of the mountain is used for tea plantation. Lots and lots of green.

Got home from Puncak on Saturday night. Monday, I left for Bali! BALI. I fricking loved Bali!! Indonesia is a country, famous for being Muslim... but for some reason, Bali is full of Hindus. This difference in religion actually made Bali unique. Balinese are friendly, artistic, and polite. They fear for karma.


We stayed at my sister's father in law's friend's villa. It was a pretty villa. Traditional, but modern inside. Most of it was open space. The living room was surrounded by a koi pond. The roof was made out of straw and bamboo. Finally, it was fully equipped with traditional Balinese windows and doors.




All I did in Bali was eat and shop. The one place that is quite famous is the "Babi Guling Ibu Oka", Ms. Oka's Suckling Pig. It's an attractive tourist spot due to its location underneath a tree.


The one thing I always wanted to do is to wake up in the morning and take a photo of the sunrise. Well, from my previous post, I have said that I love sleep. But on the last day, I actually forced myself out of bed and I walked to the beach. And this is what waking up early gave me:


Overall, it has been fun when I'm out of Jakarta. I miss Vancouver so much and I just hope the next trip I make will be with my friends :).

xoxo

One more sleep...

My flight is tomorrow at 12: 45. Will be on the plane for ten hours heading for Narita, Japan. I get to stay overnight cause my 8 hr plane flight to Jakarta will be the next morning at 10.

I should be excited as hell and cannot wait to start my vacation. I shouldn't be able to get any sleep tonight cause I get to leave this town after 5 years or so. I should be excited that I'm exploring places.

Truth is, I'm sad. Something is holding me back. I love Vancouver.


I want to stay a bit longer here. I love the spots of blue sky after a gloomy cloudy morning. I love the warmth of the sun that contrasts with the chilly spring air. I love riding on the skytrain looking over the skyscrapers as I leave Downtown Vancouver. I love walking along the seawall and look at the cityline. Oh, and the vibe. How everyone is kind of just chillin', maxin', relaxin' all cool playin' bball outside of the school.

I want to stay overnight at Tony's house for a French movie night (or more like, an attempt to a French movie night). I want to walk around the park singing at night with the people I love. I want to have random gatherings that wasn't planned. I want to chill at the bar while I get to know you.

I'll fucking miss you, Vancouver. Vancouver and everyone that is in it.

I cannot wait to come back. Just wait; I'll come back for you.

Vacation Reading List:
The Bro Code
The Book of Awesome
Persuasion

The next post will be from Narita, Japan.

XOXO

PUT YO HANDS UP!

As of yesterday, I finished my first year of university. I cannot believe how fast time has gone by. As I was studying, I was looking through all my old photos that are pretty much dated one year ago. Time just speeds up eh. The sun is out again today. It's lovely.


To celebrate, my classmates and I went to this bar called "The Met". They had a pretty awesome deal: $8 for burger and beer. The place itself is alright I guess. They had a DJ.... and it felt kind of awkward to listen to party music when the bar is quiet and it's still bright out. But good burger and skinny fries. Waiter was chill.

Then my friend and I went to this bar called "Whineos". I must say, it has one of the nicest atmosphere :)... I love the decors on the walls.


I just got my fisheye lens in the mail on Tuesday night. I jumped for joy and I got stoked (or I'm still stoked) for fifty two hours. I know it's dangerous to get stoked for that extended period of time, but this fisheye lens is so awesome. I named her Marilyn. Meet Marilyn:




So, I have 4 days left til I leave for motherland Indonesia. Stoked and scared at the same time. I haven't been back there for four years...or three and a half. I hope I can get along.

I Love Vancouver.

Hooollyyyyyy Shee-----

I don't really like Nike, but... this is talent.

buckling down

Well, I'm supposed to be doing my final assignments... but, then I stumbled upon this website: Econscious Market. It's basically a website where they feature products that are made "econsciously". 10% of your purchase from this store will go to one of the charity of your choice on the website. Here's the video to explain the whole deal:

ECOnscious Market from eConscious Market on Vimeo.

I've found these sweet belts so far:

I love the detailing on the buckle.

There's something girly.. yet classy with this belt.

And this buckle has the 12 zodiac symbols :)

I am disappointed with how I cannot afford these belts though. They are to die for :(.

What's in your backpack?

Yep. I finally saw it. I must say, it is one of my favourite George Clooney movies. "Up in the Air" is directed by Jason Reitman, same dude who directed "Thank You for Smoking" (another one of my favourites).

I like how this movie really depicts how bad the 2008-2009 recession was. Clooney's character is a guy who is hired to fire people. So he flies everywhere to fire people. How does he sleep at night? Easy. Read the following monologue from the movie:

"How much does your life weigh?"

Imagine for a second you’re carrying a backpack. I want you to pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life. You start with the little things. The shelves, drawers, the knick-knacks. You start adding bigger stuffs. Clothes, tabletop appliances, lamps. Your TV.

The backpack should be getting pretty heavy now. You grow bigger. Your couch, your car, your home. I want you to stuff it all into that backpack.

Now, I want you to fill it with people. Start with casual acquaintances. Friends of friends. Folks around the office. And then you move into the people you trust with your most intimate secrets. Your brothers, your sisters, your children. Parents. Finally, your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend. Get them into that backpack.

Feel the weight of that bag. Make no mistake. Your relationships are the heaviest components of your life. All those negotiations and arguments and secrets and compromises. The slower we move, the faster we die.

Make no mistake. Moving is living.

Some animals were meant to carry each other to live symbiotically over a lifetime. Star-crossed lovers. Monogamous swans.

We are not swans. We’re sharks.

I don't agree with the monologue, obviously. I, in all honesty, would love carrying that backpack. In fact, I can't wait to have someone to carry the backpack with me.

The Mayo Jar and Coffee

I'm just reposting this from my friend's blog. If you're as swamped as I am with school and everything else, read this cute little story.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jarwas full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “yes.”

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.”

The golf balls are the important things-your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else-the small stuff.

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18 holes. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

Isn't that awesome?

Happily Ever After?

I stumbled upon this really interesting collection. I grew up with Disney and I love fairytales. I love the grim and dark background these fairytales generally have.

Check out Dina Goldstein's "Fallen Princesses" gallery. Goldstein takes each of these princesses and set them in the modern day setting, surrounded by modern day issues; of course, with a modern day ending as well. I thoroughly enjoyed this collection of hers. It is a bit mirror-shattering... but the real world sure is tough.

http://www.fallenprincesses.com/

What are your thoughts?

counting down...

It is 35 minutes til I officially turn 19, and 33 days til I leave for Indonesia.

As I was walking home, I was just thinking how much I've changed since my last trip to Indonesia (2006). I have done lots of things since then. I have changed my mind on certain issues. I have changed my wardrobe. I have changed my plans for the future. There are things that I wish I can do again. There are also things that I want to repeat. And obviously, there are things that I just wish I didn't do.

Then I remembered what my eye-doctor (who has a bachelor in film) said to me. He said, "Never think of it as time wasted. Think of it as, 'well, now I know that that is not something I want to do.' Like process of elimination".

Thank you, insightful optometrist with a film degree. Also, thank you for all my friends; you all have shaped me to who I am right now.

"So that to know her, or any one, one must seek out the people who completed them; even the places" - Mrs. Dalloway, by Virginia Woolf.

leap!

Love is a leap. I don't know if I should leap or I should just stay where I am right now because it's comfortable and it's what I know best. I'm scared that I won't make the jump and hurt myself, again. Or if I leaped, and he'll apologize and say, "I'm sorry. I can't catch you right now".

With Glowing Hearts...I AM CANADIAN.

So... for sure, hockey is Canada's game. Eat our ice, and your own greasy asses, U.S. of A!

Sure we might be the only country that has a piece of leaf on their flag. We're also the only country who has a rodent as their national animal. But we just OWNED YOU AT HOCKEY. That's right, hockey. The sport that we claimed as our national sport cause it was invented here where there is ice. There is no gold, silver or bronze in Hockey... there's only a winner, or a loser. And we won.

I was at work during the second half of the game. Imagine how intense it was. You can hear the cheer, the roar, the boo, the "luuuu", and the "ugghh!", and finally... the victory. Mall workers walk out of their stores to see the screen; everyone cheered and hugged. All because we claimed our throne back.

I'm sorry that we're awesome.

quoted by the Tyee!

After the upsetting Alexisonfire incident, I posted on the online alternative news website regarding the incident; the alternative news is called The Tyee.
I just found out that they quoted me and wrote an article on the Alexisonfire incident. Wow! I feel so honoured. So glad I double-checked my spelling and grammar. You can find the article here.

too stoked for Alexisonfire

Report: Most College Males Admit To Regularly Getting Stoked
This video is a parody and I have always found it hilarious. Never thought that they were overstating it... until today.

Alexisonfire was scheduled to play at LiveCity Yaletown on Tuesday night, February 16. Not 10 seconds in to the vocalist's performance, the band had to stop playing. Turns out the first three rows broke the barrier because the people behind were pushing them; this pushing resulted in people on top of one another with broken bones. A friend of mine was really close to the front and he was one person away from getting hurt. He said he saw someone with a broken bone coming out of their body. So the band announced that they have to cancel.

Obviously, the crowd was upset. They yelled out "Alexisonfire sucks...!!" and "Fuck the police!". Seriously people, when that many people got hurt, it's only obvious that cancelling is the wisest decision. It's not like they want it to be cancelled either... but they don't want people to get hurt. If it is anyone's fault, it would be the crowd for pushing, instead of moshing.

On the brighter side, I did take many photos. They should be up tomorrow night.

Cheerio,
Clar.

Vancouver's Two-Week Party

Some love the Winter Games, some hate it. Me? Personally, I love it. For the past, I don't know, how many years Canada has been desperately trying to increase its patriotism. I must say, they have finally succeeded. I've never been so proud to be Canadian.


The Opening Ceremony went pretty darn well if it wasn't for the stupid commentators. I didn't get to see the whole thing; but, judging from the clips that I saw... I'm so proud. Certainly, the Beijing 2008 was better... but then again they had more people and more money. We didn't pale as much in comparison. I also like how we tried to respect the Aboriginals or the Natives by "receiving their blessing". The U.S.A. will certainly never do that.


Then, the cauldron. It was a cool idea to have the "fire wood" model as the cauldron. We did have a few glitches, but if the commentator didn't say "There should have been a fourth one", it would've been less obvious. I seriously thought it was common sense that when you make a mistake, you act like it didn't happen. Sigh, Canadian journalism. Otherwise, good job!


Visited the Russky Dom (Russian Pavilion).

Sochi 2014 looks beautiful and interesting. I wonder if I have enough money to visit Russia. And no, cute Russian guy who winked at me wasn't there.

There are too many Houses and Pavilions. Houses/Pavilions I would like to visit:
1. Irish House
2. Heineken House
3. Swiss House
4. German House
5. Canada/BC Pavilion (Art Gallery)

Went to see Mother Mother at LiveCity Yaletown.

They were so awesome. I was at the second row. Best part of these LiveCity sites is the big screen TVs and the crowd. When Alexandre Bilodeau captured the gold medal, the whole crowd went nuts. Then we broke into O Canada.

I'm so proud to be Canadian.

It's true. You gotta be here.

with love,
Proudly Canadian Clar

hustle bustle fun

I cannot begin to express how good of a day today was.
The weather was excellent today. Rainy in the morning, but I was hoping it would be sunny in the afternoon. I was right! It was so pretty with clouds in front of the blue skies. I planned to take photos a week ago, so I brought my camera to school.

Classes went by as normal. Nothing new.
During the one hour break, my friend and I roamed around downtown.

We were at the Lantern Forest on Granville Street. I love the decorations for the Olympic. My friend said, "it makes the city all new again". It's so true. I felt like a tourist taking these photos with the lanterns. And the great part is, everyone is doing the same thing!

After my last class, I made my friend Chloe to take photos of me because I told Siobhan I would show her what I'm wearing and plus I need to show off my new necklace.

I just bought this necklace on Saturday from Forever 21. I was not supposed to buy anything, but I saw this necklace and I had to have it. It even has a lil' birdie inside :)

Shirt: My brother's white shirt from G2000
Leggings: from Stitches
Belt: I seriously forgot where I got the belt from
Necklace: Forever 21 <3



This is Chloe. She's adorable. I love her. Look forward for more photos of her :)
When Chloe was taking photos of me, an attractive man walked by and flashed a smile at me/us. My campus in downtown is being used as the hub for the Germans. heh heh :)

This day even had an awesome ending. I was walking to the skytrain platform, then I was passing by this Russian, Anton-Yelchin-look-a-like-but-bigger cute guy. He was trying to make eye contact with me; when he did, he winked and smiled at me. I smiled back, then I kept on smiling for the next five seconds, and until now I'm still smiling inside. Thanks for making my day even better, Mr. Random-Possibly-Russian Guy.

Til then,
<3, Clar

young bucket list.

My dear friend just posted an interesting post on her blogspot here. What do you want to do before you die?
1. Write a chick flick script for a film
2. Be a model for a photoshoot
3. Go to 10 different countries in Europe
4. Sing in front of an audience or at a cafe
5. Jump off a cliff into a body of water --> in a fun and exciting way, not suicidal
6. FINISH MY ORIGINAL CHECKLIST LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TO DO WITHIN THIS YEAR..!!

So, what are you going to do before you die?

old photoshoot + Tumblr

Done in Summer 2009. Collaboration work with Siobhan Nicole Powell.
Model: Paige Sculthorp
Hair & Makeup: Siobhan Nicole Powell
Wardrobe: Siobhan Nicole Powell

We found the TV just chilling and smashed on the playground.

I caved in and I made a tumblr. You can follow me at: http://clarpoernomo.tumblr.com. My bud, Kurtis, showed me one of the most amazing cover of "Maps" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Find it here. It renewed my love for this song.

polyvore is taking over my life.

a bird and a plane. by ClarPoernomo on Polyvore.com

Items in this set:
Keiko Lynn Dress-Mod Retro Indie Clothing & Vintage Clothes, $50
Minsk Scarf-Mod Retro Indie Clothing & Vintage Clothes, $20
This Land is Your Land Necklace-Mod Retro Indie Clothing & Vintage..., $15
Tippytoes Heels-Mod Retro Indie Clothing & Vintage Clothes, $115
Buffalo Jill Belt-Mod Retro Indie Clothing & Vintage Clothes, $33

So I'v been browsing through my favourite websites to scramble for items to put on Polyvore. A friend of mine have been linking this site: ModCloth and I stumbled upon Dress911. Given, the "indie-viduality" is a bit cheesy. And... I don't really like people labeling this style as "indie". Don't know why... but oh well. I'm considering to purchase two items for my birthday. Once I acquire credit card, I will.... be purchasing more.. I guess.

Things I might buy for birthday:
1.

Lomo fisheye
2. A locket
3. An awesome haircut
4.
OPI Matte Nail polish
5. A man ;)

paste girl: Polyvore

I am the rule of this world by MingMing♥ featuring Cargo dresses

Items in this set:
Sherri Hill Prom Dress, 250 GBP
Alexander mcqueen shoes, 400 GBP
Anthony David® Evening Bag with Swarovski Crystal AD045 Silver & Gold..., $250
Juicy Couture Adjustable Rose Ring, $78
7.0-7.5 mm Double Strand White Akoya Pearl Bracelet from Pearl...

What did I just do..? Totally discovered a whole new "thing" to obsessed and will never obtain: Polyvore.

Good friend of mine recommended it to me; she said I would like it. She is too right. She knows my fashion taste too well. I love this thing. I just wish I have the money in the world to actually buy stuff.

Congregating by ClarPoernomo featuring Azzedine Alaia shoes

My first polyvore :)

So Polyvore is another fashion blog with amazing photos of products. You create outfits and post them online. This is their blog. But I highly suggest you guys to check this Polyvore out (especially you, Tash). Well, I'm gonna browse around some more.